Intimidated by the fear of suffering
"Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish." Est 4:16NIV
Unless you have been in the same position, it will be difficult to understand all the implications in Esther’s statement; If I perish, I perish. Here Esher decided to confront what she had feared all her life; the fear of suffering.
Oh, how many of the Lord’s people fear hardship and suffering. We sing it in our songs and shout it from our pulpits; we don’t want to suffer and we don’t want to die. I beg to disappoint you by saying you can never find a life of true purpose outside the realms of deliberately embracing suffering and death.
Unknown to us, the devil has discovered this weakness in us and so has technically taken us captive within the prison walls of our fears. For the fear of suffering a young minister sacrificed his daughter to satan so he could have a big congregation. For the fear of suffering our brothers in the business world joined occult so they can get contracts. For the fear of not having our own fruit of the womb, believers have drunk concoctions in the satan’s coven. There is no limit to what satan can take you through if he could intimidate you with the fear of suffering.
One of the principal assignments of our Messiah who suffered is to deal with this fear.
Free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death Heb 2:15NIV
Fear is a merciless slave master
We are not told at what age Esther was when her parents died and the circumstances that led to their death. However, we know that she was born at a time her people were living as slaves among ruthless gentile people with emperors who were reputed for their mindless torture and murder of their enemies. Nebuchadnezzar was brutal; just imagine a man who felt no quam as he attempted to kill hundreds of young men he had spent three years to train, just because of the issue of a dream. Not many people knew that all those young people were castrated as eunuchs, that included Daniel and his friends. That explains why we never heard of the children of Daniel. The emperors enjoyed absolute power. That included king Ahasuerus who ruled at the time of Esther.
The fear of suffering and death was part of Esther’s everyday life. It was the fear of what they could suffer that kept Mordecai from joining others in Jerusalem when King Cyrus opened the doors for them. Fear of suffering made her hide her real name and nationality. Imagine to find yourself in a situation that you don’t want anyone to know who you really are. Though in a marriage. the same fear kept her from complaining when she began to lose her place in the palace.
Then she instructed him to say to Mordecai, "All the king's officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king." Est 4:10-11NIV
She suffered in silence. She married the man out of fear of offending her father. Oh, did we forget to mention that the king also married her just to get back at his wife for disobeying him. History said that the king’s marriage to Esther did not last.
Later when the anger of King Xerxes had subsided, he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what he had decreed about her. Then the king's personal attendants proposed, "Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king. Est 2:1-2NIV
There are many, today who still make decisions, not because of sound judgment, but because of what they fear. Some for fear of poverty, married a rich unbeliever. Some for the fear of parents married someone from their tribe. Some for fear of suffering like the pastors who keep begging for mission support, clung to the job they know they ought to leave to make their service to God more effective. I have met families who are now childless because they aborted their children earlier because they feared they won’t be able to raise children then.
Like Esther, fear has become the prison house.
Fear made Esther silent about what she knew of the saving power in the Lord Jesus Christ. She dared not talk about Jehovah because she was afraid. How she was afflicted in her soul for the period she lived in that fear. Oh, the emptiness in her heart. In today’s parlance, she only hummed Christian hymns and wished for the days when she owned her life.
Despite all she had sacrificed, the enemy did not spare her. The family she belonged to had been taken, her peace had been taken, her prayer life was taken, she cannot remember the last time she opened her bible, and now, her father is telling her that, not only himself, but her entire race was about to be destroyed. She was afraid.
We are often deceived to believe that satan will let us be if we do not disturb him, but that is a lie. While Esther played it cool, the enemy of her soul was gaining more and more grounds. Haman had bought her husband over and had total control of the whole kingdom because he now wore the signet ring.
Esther could not even see her husband’s face for the space of one month but Haman could visit even in the midnight.
The king said, "Who is in the court?" Now Haman had just entered the outer court of the palace to speak to the king about hanging Mordecai on the gallows he had erected for him. His attendants answered, "Haman is standing in the court." Est 6:4-5NIV
Esther decided to face her fear. All the compromise was to her lose.
Now, if I will perish, let me perish.
Everyone will now know that I am a true child of God. All my friends and staff will hear the testimony of my conversion. Everything about me will once again radiate my true personality in Christ
If I perish, I perish
I can see in my mind’s eyes as the Queen Esther walked into the conference hall and ordered all her staffs and servants to suspend all activities and give her their attention.
“Everyone in this office must join us for a three days fast”.
I can see the shock on everyone’s face. Who is talking?
“Yes, I know you are surprised but I want you to know that I am actually a Christian child of God. From today, no more those worldly dressing and everything in this space that is under my control will reflect the glory of King Jesus Christ”.
That was the first time anyone of them ever heard the word, fasting and praying to Jehovah. I will shock you further; are you aware that Queen Esther went into the presence of the king under a fast? When you fast for three days without food and water the way they did, your body will omit a smell. Before now, that would bother Esther. No longer so.
If I perish, I perish.
(To be continued)
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